I have never really used eBay all that much. Over the years I’ve sold a thing here, a thing there. At the end of the process I always felt like I got screwed somehow. For a reason I can’t even remember now, I finally created an account for my startup. Numerous times, when I tell someone what it is, the first question is “oh, are you selling on eBay”? No, I opted for the far easier route of building my own website of course! But ultimately I figured managing an eBay account was nearly the same amount of work as managing a website. Pros and cons I guess, but I digress.
As fate would have it, a few weeks later I would receive a donation. A very large, very valuable donation. This printer. An HP Designjet t1700. I was at a house party hosted by a fellow dad from my daughter’s soccer team. After chatting with him for a bit the question “what do you do” came up. When he heard “3D printing” he immediately exclaimed “I need to give you a printer”! Slightly baffled I asked a few questions. AH, a 2D printer. Not exactly my wheelhouse, but he needed it gone, and didn’t have time to hunt anyone down; I was in the right place at the right time.
Suddenly, setting up that eBay account seemed like a really smart move. So weird how that happens sometimes, and it was amazing timing. E30 Update does have some bills coming up, like, for that aforementioned website. We’re also wrapping up development on some major new products and it would be nice to invest some of those dollars in materials for R&D and maybe a new (3D) printer. So off to eBay!
AI is clearly infiltrating every platform on earth. So I wasn’t shocked at all that eBay has started implementing this “cutting edge tech” into it’s listing process. I was already beginning to think about how dry and canned my listing was going to sound – what with 600 other virtually identical listings, any one of which can conveniently be used as a template for one’s own listing. I don’t know a lot about this type of equipment so it would be a little difficult for me to creatively expound on why someone should buy this particular plotter.
And then there is was. A handy button reading “Use AI description”. Above it, an extra pop-up bubble emphasizing the new feature: “New! Let AI draft it for you Save time by using AI to draft an item description. You can review it for accuracy and make any edits”.
As a bit of a tongue-in-cheek half-joke, I started declaring that “*NO AI WAS USED IN THE CREATION OF THIS CONTENT*” at the bottom of my YouTube video descriptions. But naturally I had to see what this (InCrEdIbLe!) tech would crank out, half-expecting it to be a paywalled feature. The irony is that the AI generated description was even dryer, and even more canned sounding than If I had made my best attempt at sounding as dry and canned as I could.
I get it, there are platforms out there that allow the user to direct the AI to be more creative. The more input you give it the more tailored to your specific desires yadda yadda. But it got me thinking; AI doesn’t really know you. It can’t really know the intimate ins-and-outs of your life. It doesn’t know if you went to a party last week unless you tell it. It doesn’t know that you got a valuable gift.. unless you tell it. Sure as we allow these technologies deeper and deeper access into our lives, it may someday be able to write a clever creative eBay description for selling a high-dollar piece of equipment you got from a well-meaning acquaintance.
So if I have to feed the AI all this information, give it an objective, proofread, rinse, repeat, edit, proofread…
I’m sorry – what am I missing? Am I old-fashioned? Bonafide luddite? Plain crazy? Madman?
There’s just something about AI that gives me regression vibes. Much like the offshoring of our industrial sector, or the relinquishing control of our currency to a cartel of banks, or using iPads as babysitters; handing off our creative and intellectual workloads to an internet-connected algorithm seems similar, only with the potential of far worse, and more-difficult-to-reverse consequences.
Paranoid?
Sure I have no white papers to reference here. Only some thoughts I had while listing a printer on eBay. But anyway, here’s what the AI came up with:
“This HP DesignJet T1700dr 44″ Wide Format Printer Plotter is the perfect addition to any printing and graphic arts business or industrial setting. With its inkjet technology and wide format capabilities, it can produce high-quality plots and prints with ease. The plotter is designed to be reliable and efficient, making it ideal for large print runs. Its brand, HP, is known for producing top-of-the-line printing equipment, and this model is no exception. The Designjet T1700DR is a plotter that is made in China and is perfect for those in the printing and graphic arts industry.”
Wow! Talk about a sales pitch!
I’ve weighed the pros and cons of taking this thing out of the box, setting it up, and using it to make some money. Spoiler alert: The cons far outweigh the pros. So I’m going to sell it. While E30 Update is enjoying it’s best year yet, we are a (very) small, young “friends & family” funded startup, and every dollar matters. So I’m going to open up bidding on this beauty. I’m hoping everyone gets a fair deal for this large-format plotter… but if some generous bidder wants to also be a contributor to a small, innovative, independent startup with really big ideas and plans by bidding a bit over the average market rate, well, I won’t cancel the auction.
Now that I have an eBay account, I’ll probably start useing it to put random stuff like this up for *sale*. I already have a couple other items up too, so I’d love if you also checked them out. The more you click, the more the algos love me! And now when people ask me if I’m selling on eBay I can say “Yeah!… sorta”.
If you do happen to have the winning bid, and are also (however unlikely) a vintage BMW collector, we’d love to offer you 50% off your first order on e30update.com! Don’t need this thing? Yeah I get that, neither do I! But if you happen to know “those in the printing and graphic arts industry” and you think they might be in the market for this “top-of-the-line printing equipment”, please share this with them. I can tell you that this “Wide Format Printer Plotter is the perfect addition to any printing and graphic arts business or industrial setting“!
One thing is for sure: it took a lot longer to write this myself than it would have taken AI. But could it have written a nuanced paragraph detailing my underwhelming experiences using eBay? Could it have known how I randomly came into possession of this behemoth of an image replicator? What about incorporating a thoughtful questioning of the use of AI itself for writing marketing copy from a human perspective from having encountered an AI copywriting feature while listing the item? Or what about shamelessly asking strangers on the internet to pay more than they might normally have for a machine I got for free because they like what my startup does? I guess we’ll never know! What I do know is that I don’t see myself using AI in the creation of content in the foreseeable future. I also don’t see myself using this printer, and selling it will help E30 Update make a lot more original content. So if you’re in Atlanta, Birmingham, Chattanooga, Huntsville, Knoxville, Nashville or other surrounding areas and you need one of these things, save money and come pick it up!
GLWYB!
*AI helped in the creation of this content, just not in the way it thought it would.
** I found the memes on the interwebs. If you want credit, prove it’s yours.