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The best thing to happen to the E30 since _____?
Category: Products
Printer for sA.I.l
I have never really used eBay all that much. Over the years I’ve sold a thing here, a thing there. At the end of the process I always felt like I got screwed somehow. For a reason I can’t even remember now, I finally created an account for my startup. Numerous times, when I tell someone what it is, the first question is “oh, are you selling on eBay”? No, I opted for the far easier route of building my own website of course! But ultimately I figured managing an eBay account was nearly the same amount of work as managing a website. Pros and cons I guess, but I digress.
As fate would have it, a few weeks later I would receive a donation. A very large, very valuable donation. This printer. An HP Designjet t1700. I was at a house party hosted by a fellow dad from my daughter’s soccer team. After chatting with him for a bit the question “what do you do” came up. When he heard “3D printing” he immediately exclaimed “I need to give you a printer”! Slightly baffled I asked a few questions. AH, a 2D printer. Not exactly my wheelhouse, but he needed it gone, and didn’t have time to hunt anyone down; I was in the right place at the right time.
Suddenly, setting up that eBay account seemed like a really smart move. So weird how that happens sometimes, and it was amazing timing. E30 Update does have some bills coming up, like, for that aforementioned website. We’re also wrapping up development on some major new products and it would be nice to invest some of those dollars in materials for R&D and maybe a new (3D) printer. So off to eBay!
AI is clearly infiltrating every platform on earth. So I wasn’t shocked at all that eBay has started implementing this “cutting edge tech” into it’s listing process. I was already beginning to think about how dry and canned my listing was going to sound – what with 600 other virtually identical listings, any one of which can conveniently be used as a template for one’s own listing. I don’t know a lot about this type of equipment so it would be a little difficult for me to creatively expound on why someone should buy this particular plotter.
And then there is was. A handy button reading “Use AI description”. Above it, an extra pop-up bubble emphasizing the new feature: “New! Let AI draft it for you Save time by using AI to draft an item description. You can review it for accuracy and make any edits”.
As a bit of a tongue-in-cheek half-joke, I started declaring that “*NO AI WAS USED IN THE CREATION OF THIS CONTENT*” at the bottom of my YouTube video descriptions. But naturally I had to see what this (InCrEdIbLe!) tech would crank out, half-expecting it to be a paywalled feature. The irony is that the AI generated description was even dryer, and even more canned sounding than If I had made my best attempt at sounding as dry and canned as I could.
I get it, there are platforms out there that allow the user to direct the AI to be more creative. The more input you give it the more tailored to your specific desires yadda yadda. But it got me thinking; AI doesn’t really know you. It can’t really know the intimate ins-and-outs of your life. It doesn’t know if you went to a party last week unless you tell it. It doesn’t know that you got a valuable gift.. unless you tell it. Sure as we allow these technologies deeper and deeper access into our lives, it may someday be able to write a clever creative eBay description for selling a high-dollar piece of equipment you got from a well-meaning acquaintance.
So if I have to feed the AI all this information, give it an objective, proofread, rinse, repeat, edit, proofread…
I’m sorry – what am I missing? Am I old-fashioned? Bonafide luddite? Plain crazy? Madman?
There’s just something about AI that gives me regression vibes. Much like the offshoring of our industrial sector, or the relinquishing control of our currency to a cartel of banks, or using iPads as babysitters; handing off our creative and intellectual workloads to an internet-connected algorithm seems similar, only with the potential of far worse, and more-difficult-to-reverse consequences.
Paranoid?
Sure I have no white papers to reference here. Only some thoughts I had while listing a printer on eBay. But anyway, here’s what the AI came up with:
“This HP DesignJet T1700dr 44″ Wide Format Printer Plotter is the perfect addition to any printing and graphic arts business or industrial setting. With its inkjet technology and wide format capabilities, it can produce high-quality plots and prints with ease. The plotter is designed to be reliable and efficient, making it ideal for large print runs. Its brand, HP, is known for producing top-of-the-line printing equipment, and this model is no exception. The Designjet T1700DR is a plotter that is made in China and is perfect for those in the printing and graphic arts industry.”
Wow! Talk about a sales pitch!
I’ve weighed the pros and cons of taking this thing out of the box, setting it up, and using it to make some money. Spoiler alert: The cons far outweigh the pros. So I’m going to sell it. While E30 Update is enjoying it’s best year yet, we are a (very) small, young “friends & family” funded startup, and every dollar matters. So I’m going to open up bidding on this beauty. I’m hoping everyone gets a fair deal for this large-format plotter… but if some generous bidder wants to also be a contributor to a small, innovative, independent startup with really big ideas and plans by bidding a bit over the average market rate, well, I won’t cancel the auction.
Now that I have an eBay account, I’ll probably start useing it to put random stuff like this up for *sale*. I already have a couple other items up too, so I’d love if you also checked them out. The more you click, the more the algos love me! And now when people ask me if I’m selling on eBay I can say “Yeah!… sorta”.
If you do happen to have the winning bid, and are also (however unlikely) a vintage BMW collector, we’d love to offer you 50% off your first order on e30update.com! Don’t need this thing? Yeah I get that, neither do I! But if you happen to know “those in the printing and graphic arts industry” and you think they might be in the market for this “top-of-the-line printing equipment”, please share this with them. I can tell you that this “Wide Format Printer Plotter is the perfect addition to any printing and graphic arts business or industrial setting“!
One thing is for sure: it took a lot longer to write this myself than it would have taken AI. But could it have written a nuanced paragraph detailing my underwhelming experiences using eBay? Could it have known how I randomly came into possession of this behemoth of an image replicator? What about incorporating a thoughtful questioning of the use of AI itself for writing marketing copy from a human perspective from having encountered an AI copywriting feature while listing the item? Or what about shamelessly asking strangers on the internet to pay more than they might normally have for a machine I got for free because they like what my startup does? I guess we’ll never know! What I do know is that I don’t see myself using AI in the creation of content in the foreseeable future. I also don’t see myself using this printer, and selling it will help E30 Update make a lot more original content. So if you’re in Atlanta, Birmingham, Chattanooga, Huntsville, Knoxville, Nashville or other surrounding areas and you need one of these things, save money and come pick it up!
GLWYB!
*AI helped in the creation of this content, just not in the way it thought it would.
** I found the memes on the interwebs. If you want credit, prove it’s yours.
E30 Cow Catcher Bracket for Diving Board Tuck Short1 Part2
Here’s part two since I forgot YouTube Shorts have to be under a minute! We’ve got a couple new products coming soon so get on the email list, Follow, Like and Subscribe to find out as soon as they drop!
Cow Catcher Bracket For Tuck Short 01 pt.01
Hey! Just did a cow catcher bracket for tuck short! I see you guys goin’ in to the cart & not checking out with these! That’s OK – I get it – it’s hard to justify spending that 💸🤑😎 these days.
No worries, I don’t have anything taking up shelf space. As soon as your order comes in I’ll hit that print button though! If you need any help with your decision making, go check out Bracket for tuck short 0101. Part two is coming soon because we have some new products coming soon… and because I don’t know how YouTube works! So get on the email list so you’re one of the first to find out when they do!
Otherwise we obviously appreciate a like, a follow and a subscribe on all the socials to help us keep cranking out the new products. Every little bit gets us closer to getting you any part you can imagine!
E30 cow catcher brackets for “diving board tuck” 3part kit Install
After doing the “diving board tuck” mod myself a few years ago, I just accepted the increased gap between the diving board and cow catcher as an inevitable tradeoff. It wasn’t until someone pointed it out to me At The Vintage, that I realized it was a bit more of an eyesore than I had let myself believe. Then, in the middle of an oil pan job, it hit me. Why not redesign the brackets to eliminate the extra space? So that’s what I did!
The cow catcher brackets for “diving board tuck” 3part kit is for a popular DIY cosmetic modification. This infamous E30 modification releases the gas from the impact shocks that support the bumper. Once all the gas (or goo) is expelled from the cylinders, they are compressed and reinstalled. The result is that it “tucks” the front (and rear) US Spec bumpers of the Series1 E30s for a more modern profile. Unfortunately, it comes with the minor, but noticeable side effect of increasing the gap between the aluminum bumper and the cow catcher mounted below. Why does this happen? It occurs because both the cow catcher and the aluminum bumper have significant draft angles for easy mold release. When the metal beams are pushed towards the cabin, the narrower side is closer to the narrower side of the cow catcher. Thus increasing the space between them.
The good news is that E30 Update has the solution!
We now offer the E30 cow catcher brackets for diving board tuck 3part kit which includes the center, left, and right brackets. Designed specifically for those of us who have tucked our diving boards, now you will have the tightest diving board bumper tuck at the next cars & coffee! That is, until you tell all your friends about this kit, and they install them too. But then we’ll be really happy. And you and all your friends will be happy! And everything will be great!
This kit does not include the corner, and side-support brackets. If you already have your corner and side support brackets, they are not necessary for installing these tuck-mod brackets. They don’t have re-engineered geometry.
If there is demand, we will add the full seven-part kit. Let us know!
*For off-road use only. This product has not been approved for road use by any Federal or State Agency.
E30 Diving Board Bumper Strip 2.0
Announcing the E30 Diving Board Bumper Strip 2.0
We’ve made some updates to the classic E30 Diving Board Bumper Strip! We’ve made it easier to mount, look better, and improve convenience. Go check it out!
E30’s Rarest Part!
E30’s RAREST Part!
I’ve always admired conceptual designers like Tobias Wong, Matty Benedetto, and Katerina Kamprani for their ability to come up with Industrial Designs which aren’t necessarily useful. In fact, sometimes these ideas are absurdly, and intentionally not useful.
Anyone who has known me for any amount of time knows I’m a bit of a jokester, but for some reason I’ve never been great at coming up with ideas for silly product designs. I suppose I’m just an all-function guy. But last summer it finally happened. I had that silly idea!
Just in case you’re not familiar – “blinker fluid” is an old car gag of mysterious origins, whereby a car enthusiast prankster would attempt to convince an automotive novice that s/he needs blinker fluid. The prompt is generally when one of the turn signal bulbs in the car of the soon-to-be-pranked burned out, or when it’s time for routine maintenance such as an oil change or filling up the washer fluid.
The joke eventually settled into the fabric of the internet from car forums to social media replies. I always thought the gag was missing a crucial element; Where does the blinker fluid actually go? YouTuber ChrisFix went viral a few years ago with a very clever 4/1 video where he demoed adding the blinker fluid directly in to the blinker bulb housing. While it was a well edited piece, I felt it a bit of a conceptual stretch.
So when I had the idea last summer I knew I had to do it. Yes, the blinker fluid gag is a little overplayed at this point. However, as a hardware guy, I figured I could bring a new twist to an old car joke. First, different manufacturers have different ways of engineering things. So it’s easily conceivable that BMW would have a fluid tank where Ford might add it directly to the unit. Second, With the E30 having that extra space in the engine bay it was a great spot for the tank, and lends an air of “credibility” to the story. And finally, since I don’t naturally come up with ideas like these very often, it was literally a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to do something fun & silly – so I couldn’t resist!
Hope you enjoyed this bit! If you have an old BMW – or any car really – that you can’t get parts for anymore, please reach out and maybe we can get you that impossible-to-find part. And heck, if you like what we’re doing and you want to support our startup, but we don’t have a part you need yet, we’ll print you a blinker fluid reservoir!
E46 power window lever
E46 power window lever
We love the E30! At least enough to name our startup after it. But we understand that not everyone is fortunate enough to drive God’s Chariot! And that’s OK! Because there are a few other great BMWs rollin’ around, like, the E46.
One thing is for sure, the power window buttons in the E30 are virtually indestructible. The E36’s buttons looked similar, but were actually rocker action switches which were fairly reliable if not quite as durable as the E30’s dead-simple, press-button hardware.
However for the E46 power window lever, BMW went full-on “planned obsolescence” with this three-mechanical-level, dual-action design. They’re just an absolute masterpiece of crap engineering! The design itself is actually somewhat sophisticated in a minimalist way, and admittedly they’re quite enjoyable to use. However these things are simply complete junk, and always breaking off!
They’re made of barely over 1mm thin translucent white plastic, which becomes very brittle after 15-20 years. They can still be purchased “new”, but it’s not like they just popped out of the mold; they’ve been sitting on a warehouse shelf somewhere for a decade or two… getting crispy. And of course you have to buy the whole assembly. Or you can get them used…. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
So we decided to fix that. We reverse-engineered the E46 power window lever, and added some extra material for strength – where we could (there’s just not a lot of room to play with in there). And to install, they simply snap in!
Going places!
While the E30 will always be our true love, the E46 is a pretty great car too! We have a couple more things coming for the Gen4 3er… and maybe even the E36! So get on the email list, or “like & subscribe” to know when we get the latest part up.
If your E46 power window levers are starting to break loose – or are completely gone, get the E30 Update E46 power window levers. It’s much better than getting used parts, and they’ve been re-engineered for extra strength. Made with new, durable PETG plastic so they haven’t been dry-rotting for 20 years, and you don’t have to buy and install a whole new switch assembly.
The E30’s Tiniest Accessory!
Hi, Michael here! Time for a long personal story about fuse pullers that nobody asked for! That probably sounds ridiculous for something as inconsequential as a fuse puller, but it’s a big part of the E30 Update journey!
I grew up in the back seats of air-cooled Volkswagens and eventually my first car, which I still have, was an air-cooled VW. If you know anything about the old “air-cooleds” (and other older European cars), you know about the old-school, “pill” style fuses. If you don’t (and I’m learning that some people do not), they’re little pill-shaped pieces of plastic (the OGs were ceramic) with thin, hourglass-shaped metal strips which extend the length of the pill structure and are then formed over the ends. They snap in to the fuse panel like an AAAA battery. They are very easy to replace because you can just pinch them with your fingers and pull them out. Not only that, it’s easy to tell if they’re blown or not because you can easily see if the metal strip is totally charred or not.
Why they decided to change that design, I’ll never… well ok, FINE I understand why, but the downsides weren’t THAT big of a deal……. In My Opinion!
Whatever… what was I gonna say? Oh right, eventually I got a car with modern fuses; a 1990 BMW 325 is! Holy Crap! I was only three years out of college and driving a dream machine! How did I pull that off?!?! I’ll save that story for another time. Before getting that car I was still super skeptical of BMWs in general, but my mom’s 2001 E46 wagonstarted to change my perception a little. Besides, I loved the look of the older models so I figured I’d take a chance.
Man was I sold.
I was a little bit intimidated though – now remember, I came from air-cooleds, so I didn’t even know the ins-n-outs of a liquid cooling system (more on that another time). One thing that drove me absolutely NUTS though, was that extracting fuses was a total nightmare! WHY I thought to myself… the HELL… would ANYONE… design something SO… HARD…. to get OUT?!?!?!?!
Then one day when I was at my grandfather’s, who was a big inspiration for me to work on my cars myself, went to check a fuse, and popped out a little fuse puller out of it’s little nook in the fuse box. DUUUUH! Fuse puller! Of Course! First thing I did when I got back to my car was check for the fuse puller, which naturally, was missing from my fuse box. Damn car had it’s original flashlight, but not the fuse puller. Because of course it didn’t.
So I forgot about it and kept pulling fuses by hand finger. Ouch. So ouchie was it, that, I have to admit, I got a bit lazy about checking fuses…
One day I noticed I had a headlight out. Well, I thought, who knows when those things were replaced last. So I got all four headlights because they were on sale at BavAuto – Remember those guys? After procrastinating replacing it (got a written warning for having my brights on) I finally popped the new headlight in… Still no light. After scratching my head for a few seconds, I did the next cliché thing that one does after scratching one’s head: facepalm.
THE FUSE! NO! NOT THE FUSE!!!
Yes. It was the fuse.
I sheepishly went to the auto parts store after consulting the user manual (another original item the ’90 had other than the fuse puller) and got the appropriate fuse. After painfully wrenching it out with my fingers and popping the new one in, the headlight un-miraculously worked again.
I blame it all on not having a fuse puller and I’m sticking to my story!
After “Isis” was tragically totaled, I drove several other cars. E36’s, E46’s, I drove an SMG for the first time which was pretty rad, but the car was a junker and they wanted WAAAY too much for it. After several months, I was finally able to find another E30 to look at during a family reunion in Memphis. After only a couple minutes in to the test drive I knew I was back in my automotive home. Even though it was an es, rather than an is, It nevertheless sank in: there really is something special about the E30. They don’t call it God’s Chariot for nothing.
After taking delivery (yes, the guy drove it across the state for me(!!)) of Isis’s replacement, I naturally started doing a deeper dive. “Oh! Hey! It has a fuse puller!” I noticed. Of course, after 4+ years I still haven’t needed it… not that I’m hoping to.
Another thing my ’86 has is heated seats. I haven’t done a bunch of research on this, but I think there was some kind of factory, or possibly dealer option for heated seats. However, I’m 93% certain the upgrade on this car was probably done long after it rolled off the dealer’s lot; probably at the same time the front seats were reupholstered (in vinyl 😞).
The drivers seat heating element was operational when I purchased the black, 1986 coupe, but the passenger’s side was not. This time I remembered to check the fuses. After poking around the fuse box a couple minutes I realized what that mysterious box grafted to the side of the fuse box was… a mini fuse box just for the heated seats. Lo and behold… Pill fuses!? One of them was obviously charred to oblivion. “Well that may explain why the passenger’s seat heat is inoperable” I thought to myself. A quick trip to the auto parts store will fix that problem… so I assumed.
Now, I know you’re thinking “why is he veering off topic talking about heated seats”? Don’t worry, it’s about to make sense!
As I scoured the fuse section I was amazed at all the fancy, light-up fuses, the tiny mini fuses… almost an entire aisle’s worth… but no pill fuses?!?! I wandered back up front to find an associate. “Do you have any of these?” I asked incredulously. “What’s that?” the employee who couldn’t have been much over twenty asked. After a few seconds of awkward silence I stuttered “wuh.. ahf.. a.. fuse?”…
I’m not sure anything has yet made me feel quite as old as his reply:
“Huh……. I ain’t never seen one o’ them before”.
Then again, I’d never seen a fuse puller until a couple years prior, so I’m not sure which is worse 😅.
Either way, if your fuse box is missing this finger-saving little accessory, here’s a cool replica. Only from E30 Update.
NO AI WAS USED IN THE CREATION OF THIS CONTENT
E30 Cigarette Lighter Retainer Clip
E30 Cigarette Lighter Retainer Clip
In true old-school BMW fashion, E30s were not equipped with cup holders. While not as much of a space hog, they were able to find a spot for a cigarette lighter (where you plug in your USB dock ;)) in the center console. While nearly every car ever made after WWII has one of these conveniences, the cigarette lighter retainer clip is somehow one of the weak points of the E30 interior.
It’s no secret that BMW tends to err on the side of over-engineering. True to form, the cigarette lighter, or more accurately, the cigarette lighter retainer clip, is a tiny, over-engineered piece of plastic, Even in the E30. It is a translucent amber, cylindrical plastic sleeve. Halfway around the circumference from each other, two clips protrude from the top ring and past the outer wall. The two clips hold the the canister to the ash tray assembly for inserting DC power adapters. Like much of the other plastic attached to these 80s legends, this little plastic clip becomes brittle and often disintegrates after 30+ years. The power port is then left to float around in the cavity between the console and the transmission tunnel.
At this point the port is resting on the two electrical leads at the bottom of the can. Because it is in the vicinity of the ash tray which most people fill with loose change, a coin can find its way underneath the cigarette lighter port, bridge the two leads and short the circuit – or worse… ask me how I know.
Printed in clear translucent PETG, the replacement cigarette lighter retainer clip from E30 Update has been engineered to be stronger than OEM. E30 Update now has an OEM style replacement if yours has cracked and dropped out of the ash tray. It is not amber like the original, so we recommend replacing the stock illumination with a red or amber LED replacement lighting.
If you prefer a stock console setup, this cigarette lighter retainer clip from E30 Update is a must. Installation is super breezy, and when installed, it provides a firm, like-new DC outlet experience. E30 owners no longer have to find random less than ideal solutions for plugging in a USB dock, or even a cigarette lighter!